August 20, 2021

Three-thousand miles



I am not picking up petals from a lovesick relationship, packing up my feelings as we’re packing up the car. maybe another three-thousand miles will give me another three-thousand reasons to stay but we’d come back with a hundred new pictures of a hundred fake smiles that we’d keep saying, look, we are happy, see
another three-thousand miles
and it’s still not far enough

Idk about you but I feel the need to greet the ocean this way every time I see her.

real talk tho because authenticity along with my highlight: I’ve felt very much in a box since I’ve gotten back from my trip…a lot of feelings of “not enough” in what feels like starting a brand new trail with a blindfold on. I should be further ahead, why didn’t I finish school, why didn’t I advocate for myself better, etc etc. And though I am the happiest I’ve been in a decade, a lot of things falling through and feeling like I’m not working hard enough, but trying to trust that this is exactly where I am meant to be and grow through