I was tired of being “good” and being treated poorly. Tired of rumors circulating, tired of feeling like I would never get where I’m going, tired of waiting for “Karma” to give me justice. And by doing this, I realized:

Part of healing is accepting the ugly parts of yourself. The parts of yourself that you don’t necessarily like. The parts of you that other people don’t like, but you do.

I realized that part of healing is accepting your humanity.

And one of the most healing things I’ve done is live a wildly unsuitable life.
To disappoint everyone but myself.
To pursue pleasure in any form I choose.
Part of healing isn’t living like you or like anyone expects you to.
It’s living like you want to.

you should know that i am not good and never have been...spit out of the womb like the devil made me herself. dark eyes, dark lips, darker hair and sienna skin that looked like it had already taken a beating. they said i came out bruised. looking for trouble. i guess that's why they called me wicked. death-dealer, spine stealer. man-eater. toxic from the soles of my feet to the tips of my hair and the dirt under my nails.

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tbh, i wrote this book because i was tired of healing...

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the worst of me

"an honest look at the messy side of healing..."

The Worst of Me is a soul-stirring poetry collection that recognizes the strength it takes to confront one’s shadows and embodies the transformative power of self-acceptance; the good, the bad, and the worst. Put on your favorite dress, slip off your shoes, and step into The Worst of Me; a captivating collection of poetry that unearths the things we hide in the dark.

about the illustrations & artwork

I grew up with a mother who was also an artist and this meant everything we did was heavily critiqued, whether it was writing, singing, playing an instrument, and especially, art, so I have always felt I’m no good at it because it didn’t meet the expectations of an artist. This book is also really special to me because, for the first time ever, I am publicly sharing some of my own little illustrations. I may or may not have gotten a little drunk in order to relax enough to create the illustrations, lol. I hope you hate them as much as my mother would 😉

This book also includes some public domain art (one of which is a religious piece that I made a little slutty )

I hope you use the pages like your own diary; press flowers into it, draw your own “shitty” artwork, leave love notes you’ll never send.

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"This poetry book is both heart breaking and heart strengthening. It gives words to the raw emotions that we feel on the roller coaster of healing. It's not linear and it's not always pretty. Alishas words are raw, beautiful and so relatable! The format of this book is amazing and adds to the realness and vulnerability of it all. There is room for YOU not just her words."

- Adelyn

"I’ve read every single one of the books written by Alisha and she never ceases to amaze me. The Worst of Me gives an honest look at the messy side of feeling and healing. This poetry collection will hold your hand through the darkest of times but instead of tugging you towards the light, it will stay with you in the shadows and say “me too.”

- Anonymous


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The Worst of Me 
is hauntingly beautiful
& unashamedly tragic.