In my sister’s 28 years it was as if she lived three lifetimes–she knew exactly what she wanted so it was just, boom, boom, boom–one thing after another. I, on the other hand, was called a “butterfly” by my gram, grandma, and great aunties. I just kind of floated around in my own world with no real sense of purpose.
I was good with that. Floating felt fine to me even though I’ve always felt this sense of “more” I should be doing, but had no clue what it was or even why. So I watched my sister climb ladders, create a business, and crush her dreams until she died.
And after she was gone I had this gripping fear of “I don’t have enough time”. Everything became a race: to get to the end like I had something to prove and that I was worthy of living in the world.
But omg. It’s draining. It’s a slow, slow drip on your life.
And then I realized–it’s not that I don’t have enough time…it’s that I don’t know what I actually want to DO with my time. and that’s the thing:
Most of us don’t know what we really want.
Or we cover it up with what’s expected of us.
Or we feel that we don’t deserve it.
And push away our gut feelings that are trying to guide us.
And then we start to feel like we don’t have TIME.
And we feel rushed.
We panic that our life is going by without us really living it.
But since we don’t know what we really want and we get stuck in this cycle of HUSTLE and GRIND for TIME instead of consciously creating the life we want.
My sister only lived for 28 years, yet showed me that there is always enough time to do the things you love and that’s why I do what I do. Life can be painfully and instantaneously shortened. Life is too short to be stuck doing shit you hate.
That’s why I ultimately partnered with doTERRA (that and this). Not only does my partnership with doTERRA involve something I love, but it allows me space to do the things I love.
For a lot of my life, I started hobbies that I wanted to turn into businesses and ended up quitting because it didn’t fulfill me or what my ideal business looked like. Which sounds dumb, but there are a few things in life I wanted if I was going to start a business:
- to make people feel good about themselves + help people on a global scale
- to be able to put motherhood first–a job where I can truly make my own hours so I can be there for my kiddos whenever they need me
- a biz that could essentially run itself if I needed it to for a couple of months and still
- provide a full-time income
- with time freedom–for those days when it’s just too nice to be inside or to take off on adventures. Can you imagine time-freedom like that?? (like, most corporate jobs give you two weeks vacation a year, and most of us don’t even take it because we’re tied to the job)
Partnering with doTERRA checked everything off my list. So I went for it.
Like honestly, I wouldn’t have taken time to put together my poetry book if I didn’t have a little side income coming in from the essential oil sales myself and our team creates every month.
I jumped feet first into doTERRA in January 2017. With the help of my amazing leaders, I made Silver rank in six-ish months. I went to Convention (doTERRA’s annual conference for everyone!), walked the stage with my husband, and just felt really cool. Because I did what I said I was going to and I was actually making money doing essential oil sales, of all things.
After that, the next goal was GOLD which our team created in February 2018….it felt amazing. I didn’t think someone like me could actually make money in a network marketing company, right? But there I was, doing it. And because I reached GOLD I was able to go to doTERRA’s leadership in Orlando, Florida (more about leadership in a second!)
doTERRA leadership 2018: orlando, florida
doTERRA leadership 2019: atlanta, georgia
But after a few months of GOLD status, I dropped in rank which made me feel small. I gave up a chance to go on a doTERRA sourcing trip to the lavender fields in Bulgaria because our marriage that had been deteriorating was disintegrating quickly. I publicly left the church I was raised in. Soon after that, my relationship with my parents ended. Customers stopped ordering or started buying elsewhere. Leaders who were doing the business started new ventures (yay!) or just weren’t a great fit…you know–normal growing pains. I started focusing on therapy, healing, and moving away from a toxic environment.
After we moved, the last half of 2018 and all of 2019 was spent healing; taking adventures, less time teaching about essential oils, less time selling, and more time building metaphorical gates with fences.
(though, shoutout to our NC wildflowers–it was so much fun being with you on our way to Atlanta Leadership!)
Now we’re here today: I haven’t reached GOLD rank since 2018. I’m bobbing between a Premier and a “weak” Silver. I’m going to doTERRA leadership this year as a Silver rank. And it looks like a step backward, but I feel it making space for the future…in 2020, I’m focusing back on my partnership.
But even as recently as FEBRUARY…like four days ago, I was trying to keep myself small. This year will be my third leadership. As it was approaching I couldn’t decide whether I should go or not. I said, yes, I’ll be there, then I said, actually no, “there’s too much going on”, or I don’t like building in person so there’s no point for me to go, none of my leaders will be there, AND I don’t feel like I earned it. Turns out it just got canceled, but that’s a different story.
There’s this thing called The Upper Limit problem in this book called The Big Leap. The upper limit is essentially how much happiness you can handle. And the whole idea is that “as you move toward greater success, love, abundance, and creativity in your life, you will encounter [your upper limit]…” and then you’ll try and fuck it up.
Feeling good is great–we all love to feel good, but for some of us, when we start to feel too good, we start to feel bad. Because feeling bad is familiar and actually has a stronger effect on our brain:
“…losses have twice as powerful an effect on our brains than the equivalent gain, so we are more likely to go out of our way to avoid a potential loss than we are to try to gain a reward” The Source, Tara Swart, MD. Ph.D
Now…we don’t have control over everything that happens in our life. 2018 was absolute garbage for so many people and I took the liberty of taking a ton of time off to heal, but when it came to putting the work in again, I got scared.
I kept making excuses for why I couldn’t go to Leadership this year. Going to leadership was “too much” for me even though the potential outcome of me going is far greater than the potential loss; GREATER INCOME, GREATER KNOWLEDGE, BETTER SKILLS, BETTER LEADER, ETC.
I was more willing to take a LOSS on my partnership than to go after the potential GAIN.
It exceeded how much happiness I could handle. So I was willing to do nothing.
How crazy is that?
Maybe you’ve done this before. Maybe you’ve done it today. I’ll probably do it again at some point.
And I can’t wait to see what the rest of 2020 brings.
what is doTERRA Leadership?
Okay, now that we’ve had that HUGE backstory, let’s talk about doTERRA’s two main annual events:
DoTERRA Convention is for everyone. There is no talk of selling oils. Instead, we learn about the company, the oils, the people behind the oils, and more about the organizations that we support.
DoTERRA Leadership is different. Basically, it’s an opportunity for GOLD and above leaders to come and learn about the business side of doTERRA. It’s like one giant mastermind where you learn how to grow your partnership.
That’s basically it!
The schedule and location change every year. In past years they’ve held East Coast and West Coast events separately, but this year they are holding one event together in Phoenix, AZ. Aside from Phoenix being insanely expensive I am super excited for this year’s event!! There is always some swag–you get a bag and notebook usually with your registration. There is also a themed party one of the nights and a lot of company highlights. Stay tuned next week for a report!
ps. for anyone who is curious about building your doTERRA biz, check out this online guide I created…this is free to members of our community, so if that’s you, then get with your leader for the code!